Independence Day

Independent:

"freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others."

Being independent

"means being able to take care of your own needs and to make and assume responsibility for your decisions while considering both the people around you and your environment.”

I felt stuck when I attempted to write of late. The words “me” or “we” were bouncing around in my head but I kept hitting a wall. I began thinking about the upcoming holiday, Independence Day, and the characteristic Americans are especially proud of—our right to live as we choose. As I looked up the definition of independent I discovered that I could not relate to it as a interpretation of how we live in the 21st century. Being independent seemed a much better fit. I sat with the words, “assume responsibility for your decisions while considering both the people around you and your environment.”

In this unique time in our history we are called to think, not only of ourselves, but of our place in and our impact on community. Selfish actions are not only thoughtless, they are life threatening. In this escalation of the philosophical idea of “independence” we have forgotten that in truth we are all interdependent.

A community and the people who inhabit it thrive when the population works together for common goals. It is destroyed when people forget that we are linked together by all that we do and how we live in our villages, towns and cities.

Have you ever played this game? Look around your environment and take note of how many invisible and nameless people have provided goods and services to furnish your world. From the person who dyed the wool in your carpet, the carpenter who cut the boards for your floor, the farmer and laborer who harvested your food, and the trucker who delivered it, there is nothing in your world that you can claim sole credit for. You may move independently through your day but each move has been supported by millions of others working and living on this planet.

As we celebrate Independence Day my hope is that we also celebrate our fundamental connection with each other. And that we all focus on bringing more love, more healing and more light into our individual and common world. Let’s celebrate our interdependence with renewed respect and love for one another.

Let It Go or Let It Be?

It's not a matter of letting go-if you could you would. Instead of "Let it go" we should probably "Let it be." John Kabat-Zinn How often have you told yourself or suggested to a friend or family member to "Just let it go."? It's great advice. Letting go means not hanging on. When we hang on we keep the memory of a negative experience alive. We fuel it with made-up interpretations of who, what, where and why while reliving the emotional turmoil again and again. Letting it go frees us. But is it really so simple? I'm investigating the "Let it be." approach. Letting it be liberates from having to fix, control or change and allows the space in which to observe and accept. Letting it be feels Zen. It asks that we detach while acknowledging what is. Case in point. My YMCA is closing. It has been an important addition to my week over many years.  In the scope of life the end of my gym is pretty minor. While understanding that I also realize that anything that causes a deep emotional reaction is a catalyst for growth.  Three times a week I enjoyed a walk to the Y through a lovely park using the time for prayer and gratitude. Once at the Y I convened with like-minded people who share my commitment to keep active and have fun. These folks have become treasured friends. The closing left me struggling with the unexpected change.  I tried the "Let it go." method and it didn't help. Letting it go did nothing for how I felt about the loss. But as I worked on letting it be whispers of peace arose in my consciousness.  My mind started to design a new path for my fitness, friendships and meditative walks.  The Y's demise is part of an ever changing and shifting energetic world. Life is not static. Everything is in motion. Remembering that change is constant helped me to let go of my emotions and begin to adapt. Next time you feel accosted by an unexpected happening, an annoying event or person, play around with letting it be. You may find a little space for inner calm and the tools needed for living in love and light. As always, I will be rooting for you. I end with a stanza from The Beatles song, "Let It Be.  Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be Yeah, there will be an answer, let it be Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Shutting Down and Shutting Out. Freeing Bias

While talking to a woman I had just met we discovered that we were raised the same religion, the second child of six children, educated in like schools and had enjoyed living in Florida for many years. The similarities were overwhelming. Then she asked where I was brought up. "Oh-you're an Oompa loompa", she stated as she slammed the door on our kinship. "I'm a Wangdoodle." she declared. Our connection faltered, stumbled and did not regain its balance. 

I decline to define myself by the labels that were assigned to me by society or my life experience. Certainly, aspects of my upbringing and years on the planet add to my character but they are not what constitutes the sum total of me. I have learned through my work that you can't always judge a book by it's cover. 

Her reaction left me wondering what attracts us to our differences rather than our similarities? Why do we  focus on where we clash rather than where we converge? I questioned if we have an inherent need to feel separate, better, higher, smarter, quicker, richer and ultimately superior.  

I've always admired people with the ability to have meaningful friendships while holding diametrically opposed views on key issues. These folks manage to move around their differences and dance in their similarities. They have suspended their judgment and have fostered a connection that builds unique friendships.

What would happen if we sought out the places where our opinions and beliefs intersected rather than opposed one another? Wouldn't that be an interesting starting point next time there is a conflict. What if we began to ask questions such as, "What does being an Oompa Loompa mean to you?"  rather than shutting the door to connection, friendship, communion, understanding and healing. Let's work together to instigate dialogue that encourages curiosity, listening and community but first we must take a deep breath and push our bias aside.

Love and Light,

Nora

Words from a Dying Teenage Idol

Wasted Time

 'So much wasted time.' These were the words uttered by the dying teenage idol David Cassidy. His powerful message caught me off guard as I flipped through a gossip magazine at my hair salon. The impact of his statement stayed with me throughout the day as I contemplated "wasted time". To be clear, I am not referring to an hour in front of the TV or time perusing Facebook, but rather the more regrettable and detrimental time wasters sprang to mind.

I saw hours lost in worry or anger and days consumed by a refusal to forgive. A life exhausted by low self esteem or entrenched in addiction joined the list.  The negative power of gossip materialized in my thoughts while self-righteousness took its place among the tally of time wasters. With each impression I became deeply aware of the destructive power of squandered time. 

If you think wasting time takes no effort think again. The energy one expends in worry, anger, bitterness, resentment or self-abuse is entirely depleting. Next time an emotion or drama steps in to rule your day ask yourself,  "Do I really have time for this?" In doing so you may discover your own inner guide to letting go and living in love.

Catc A Wave

"Catch a wave and your sittin' on top of the world."

Beach Boys "Catch a Wave"

Are you feeling afraid? Are you worried about everything? Do you feel helpless and depressed, anxious and distracted?  There is something you can do to alleviate the stress that appears to be drowning you. Catch a wave. We are surrounded by waves of energy. Sound, radio and electromagnetic waves constantly bounce around us. There are waves of negativity, fear and hate and then there is the wave of love. With a loving thought or a simple act of kindness you magnetize its power to you. When you choose love you commune with a force of healing that permeates the planet. Riding a wave of love lifts your spirit, shifts your perspective and expands your own vibratory field. You live in the moment. Believe in it's power and engage with it.

Some of us perpetually flail about among currents of negativity riding the peaks and valleys of fear. Love negates powerlessness. You cannot feel like a victim when love is your focus. Create your own bandwidth of love by choosing to think, speak and act in loving ways. Your efforts will help our planet heal.  

If you are burdened by negativity check in with your thoughts. Are they harsh and judgmental? Minor changes in perspective can create major shifts in attitude. Notice how even the smallest act of kindness alters your emotional mood. Try it! You have nothing to lose but suffering and much gain. Catch a wave, the wave of love.

"I think the world is going to be saved by millions of small things."

Pete Seeger 

Love and light,

Nora

Keys to Nowhere

Do you have a secret place in your home where you accumulate junk? I certainly do. One drawer in my kitchen was randomly designated as the junk drawer for years. The other day I decided it was time to do some purging. After sifting through bottles of sticky bubble stuff, half-burned birthday candles, keys to nowhere, gadgets and gag gifts received over the years three items remained: a ball of string, a tape measure and a bag of kitchen hooks. 

While admiring the now spacious drawer I began to wonder. What about the "junk" people keep in their hearts and minds?  How often do you find yourself remembering an old slight, a thoughtless snub or a petty argument? How frequently do you ruminate on memories full of pain and suffering? 

The thoughts that occupy the "junk drawer" of your heart rob you of the joy of living in the present. Beneath our suffering lies longing to be loved. The perception that love is absent creates pain. Step back and examine the memories that trigger your sadness. Recognize them as moments in time where love appeared to be missing. Accept that even the perpetrator of your pain was acting out of a perceived loss of love. 

Don't let past wounds take up space in your heart. If you find yourself consumed by painful recollections stop for a minute and breathe. Release the visceral reaction to your memory by breathing deeply into your solar plexus. Say these words silently or aloud: 

"I release and let go. I forgive and free my heart to love. I am loved and loving."

Love and light,

Nora