You Matter

You Matter 

Self esteem from the Inside Out

Self Esteem: A confidence and satisfaction in oneself. Self-respect. 

Another definition: Confidence in one's own worth or ability.  Webster's 

What yardstick do you use to calculate your worth? If you assess your value through societal standards you may be setting yourself up for heartache and suffering. Our culture measures worth and value through one's financial success, beauty, and brains. These standards are a surefire path to low self esteem and unhappiness. Over and over in my work I am shown that money truly does not buy happiness, beauty does not guarantee a charmed life and intelligence does not insulate one from chaos and pain. 

In my readings there is only love. A person's value shines through as their "inner core". This core is the essence of who they are, what spark of light they bring into the world and the vibrational energy they were born to share. Core energy can be defined by the qualities of  joy, delight, playfulness, enthusiasm, kindness and compassion.  What would happen if we began to use these intangible qualities as the benchmark for our value and worth?

Self esteem begins to flourish as you accept who you are with your shortcomings and struggles. And it will grow as you encourage the expression of love and joy in all that you strive to create. When you foster unconditional love you will begin to be a gentler and kinder judge. The twists and turns of your life have given you wisdom and compassion. Life's trials have softened your edges and deepened your ability to forgive and let go. You are valuable. You matter. You have the power to help, heal, to create and discover. You have a voice that counts. 

To develop self esteem one must begin with the concept that we are all valuable, we are all worthy. We can then open pathways to forgiving. We abandon self-righteousness.  And we forge a path of appreciation and respect not only of our voyage but of the journey of each and everyone of us.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" _Siddhartha Gautama

Love and light,

Nora

Keys to Nowhere

Do you have a secret place in your home where you accumulate junk? I certainly do. One drawer in my kitchen was randomly designated as the junk drawer for years. The other day I decided it was time to do some purging. After sifting through bottles of sticky bubble stuff, half-burned birthday candles, keys to nowhere, gadgets and gag gifts received over the years three items remained: a ball of string, a tape measure and a bag of kitchen hooks. 

While admiring the now spacious drawer I began to wonder. What about the "junk" people keep in their hearts and minds?  How often do you find yourself remembering an old slight, a thoughtless snub or a petty argument? How frequently do you ruminate on memories full of pain and suffering? 

The thoughts that occupy the "junk drawer" of your heart rob you of the joy of living in the present. Beneath our suffering lies longing to be loved. The perception that love is absent creates pain. Step back and examine the memories that trigger your sadness. Recognize them as moments in time where love appeared to be missing. Accept that even the perpetrator of your pain was acting out of a perceived loss of love. 

Don't let past wounds take up space in your heart. If you find yourself consumed by painful recollections stop for a minute and breathe. Release the visceral reaction to your memory by breathing deeply into your solar plexus. Say these words silently or aloud: 

"I release and let go. I forgive and free my heart to love. I am loved and loving."

Love and light,

Nora 

When We "Do a Bad Thing"

"We're not bad people but we did a bad thing."

A recent show on Netflix ended with the line above. It stayed with me the following day as I examined my own actions and reflected on recent events in the lives of my clients, family and friends. Haven't we have all done something we regret, something thoughtless, mean or cruel? Each and every one of us has acted in a way that has been hurtful to another. By recognizing ourselves in the statement above we initiate forgiveness. Through atonement we begin to understand ourselves as well as absolve others. Only then can we be free to love.

Part of forgiving ourselves is to recognize that we have made choices and hold ourselves responsible for them. When we blame others for our actions we become victims. Unforgiving judgement fuels a culture of contempt and self-hatred. What if we chose to rejoice in our mistakes? For aren't they truly the anvil on which our wisdom is shaped and formed? Never miss an opportunity to learn from them.

As we stumble so do we grow. Forgive and be free from painful thoughts that lead to living in the past. Cultivate profound healing and love through forgiveness. 

"Was it you or I who stumbled first? It does not matter. The one of us who finds the strength to get up first, must help the other."

Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration