Independence Day

Independent:

"freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others."

Being independent

"means being able to take care of your own needs and to make and assume responsibility for your decisions while considering both the people around you and your environment.”

I felt stuck when I attempted to write of late. The words “me” or “we” were bouncing around in my head but I kept hitting a wall. I began thinking about the upcoming holiday, Independence Day, and the characteristic Americans are especially proud of—our right to live as we choose. As I looked up the definition of independent I discovered that I could not relate to it as a interpretation of how we live in the 21st century. Being independent seemed a much better fit. I sat with the words, “assume responsibility for your decisions while considering both the people around you and your environment.”

In this unique time in our history we are called to think, not only of ourselves, but of our place in and our impact on community. Selfish actions are not only thoughtless, they are life threatening. In this escalation of the philosophical idea of “independence” we have forgotten that in truth we are all interdependent.

A community and the people who inhabit it thrive when the population works together for common goals. It is destroyed when people forget that we are linked together by all that we do and how we live in our villages, towns and cities.

Have you ever played this game? Look around your environment and take note of how many invisible and nameless people have provided goods and services to furnish your world. From the person who dyed the wool in your carpet, the carpenter who cut the boards for your floor, the farmer and laborer who harvested your food, and the trucker who delivered it, there is nothing in your world that you can claim sole credit for. You may move independently through your day but each move has been supported by millions of others working and living on this planet.

As we celebrate Independence Day my hope is that we also celebrate our fundamental connection with each other. And that we all focus on bringing more love, more healing and more light into our individual and common world. Let’s celebrate our interdependence with renewed respect and love for one another.

Shutting Down and Shutting Out. Freeing Bias

While talking to a woman I had just met we discovered that we were raised the same religion, the second child of six children, educated in like schools and had enjoyed living in Florida for many years. The similarities were overwhelming. Then she asked where I was brought up. "Oh-you're an Oompa loompa", she stated as she slammed the door on our kinship. "I'm a Wangdoodle." she declared. Our connection faltered, stumbled and did not regain its balance. 

I decline to define myself by the labels that were assigned to me by society or my life experience. Certainly, aspects of my upbringing and years on the planet add to my character but they are not what constitutes the sum total of me. I have learned through my work that you can't always judge a book by it's cover. 

Her reaction left me wondering what attracts us to our differences rather than our similarities? Why do we  focus on where we clash rather than where we converge? I questioned if we have an inherent need to feel separate, better, higher, smarter, quicker, richer and ultimately superior.  

I've always admired people with the ability to have meaningful friendships while holding diametrically opposed views on key issues. These folks manage to move around their differences and dance in their similarities. They have suspended their judgment and have fostered a connection that builds unique friendships.

What would happen if we sought out the places where our opinions and beliefs intersected rather than opposed one another? Wouldn't that be an interesting starting point next time there is a conflict. What if we began to ask questions such as, "What does being an Oompa Loompa mean to you?"  rather than shutting the door to connection, friendship, communion, understanding and healing. Let's work together to instigate dialogue that encourages curiosity, listening and community but first we must take a deep breath and push our bias aside.

Love and Light,

Nora