You Matter

You Matter 

Self esteem from the Inside Out

Self Esteem: A confidence and satisfaction in oneself. Self-respect. 

Another definition: Confidence in one's own worth or ability.  Webster's 

What yardstick do you use to calculate your worth? If you assess your value through societal standards you may be setting yourself up for heartache and suffering. Our culture measures worth and value through one's financial success, beauty, and brains. These standards are a surefire path to low self esteem and unhappiness. Over and over in my work I am shown that money truly does not buy happiness, beauty does not guarantee a charmed life and intelligence does not insulate one from chaos and pain. 

In my readings there is only love. A person's value shines through as their "inner core". This core is the essence of who they are, what spark of light they bring into the world and the vibrational energy they were born to share. Core energy can be defined by the qualities of  joy, delight, playfulness, enthusiasm, kindness and compassion.  What would happen if we began to use these intangible qualities as the benchmark for our value and worth?

Self esteem begins to flourish as you accept who you are with your shortcomings and struggles. And it will grow as you encourage the expression of love and joy in all that you strive to create. When you foster unconditional love you will begin to be a gentler and kinder judge. The twists and turns of your life have given you wisdom and compassion. Life's trials have softened your edges and deepened your ability to forgive and let go. You are valuable. You matter. You have the power to help, heal, to create and discover. You have a voice that counts. 

To develop self esteem one must begin with the concept that we are all valuable, we are all worthy. We can then open pathways to forgiving. We abandon self-righteousness.  And we forge a path of appreciation and respect not only of our voyage but of the journey of each and everyone of us.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" _Siddhartha Gautama

Love and light,

Nora

Potholes and Pitfalls

Rebounding from unexpected twists and turns in life has been the topic of the day at my house. We live under the illusion that we have a modicum of control over the events of our lives.  Then, with a flick of its fickle finger, Life can turn our world upside down and send our reality spinning out of its orbit.

Through my work I have witnessed my clients heal, recover and embrace life again by delving into their inner source of courage and strength. How do they do it? How does one heal? How does one steady oneself after being knocked off ones feet? The road to recovery is often initiated through small and steady steps rather than broad strides and bold leaps. Over time, tentative steps can evolve to ultimately establish a new level of thriving and self expression.

Numerous potholes litter the path to healing and one to keep an eye out for is the “Yeah but.”  “Yeah but” will paralyze. When you visualize failure before you take the initial step you undermine any chance of success. The journey to healing can feel like you are playing blind man’s bluff. You can stumble around like a toddler learning how to walk. But after a few unsteady steps you may discover  that you are moving more securely and confidently toward a new vision of you.

You may twist your ankle in the pothole of wondering “Why?”.  “Why?” will leave you spinning on your own personal hamster wheel feeling like a victim.  Life hasn’t shared her secret of “Why?” with me as of yet but she does encourage asking the question “What?” “What have I learned?” “What can I do to change?”

A dangerous pitfall on the road to rebounding from unexpected challenges is thinking that you have to get it right the first time. Believing that you must be perfect from the start dooms you to failure.  Imagine a child learning to stand on her own. She falls on her bottom numerous times but never gives up. Eventually through trial and error she develops her strength and can stand on her own two feet.

A seminal component to healing is reaching out for something outside of ourselves. It can be as simple as changing a routine or spending time with a friend. But more often the path to renewal is to do something for someone else. Giving of oneself is a beautiful way to ease the pain of suffering.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson said,
“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”

As we take those brave first steps to move beyond pain and sorrow we begin to see that we are regaining our footing on the journey of life and are readied in a deeper more meaningful way for the next unexpected surprise life will offer.

Love and light,
Nora